Why “We Do Not Care” became a rallying cry for menopausal women | The Excerpt
- - Why “We Do Not Care” became a rallying cry for menopausal women | The Excerpt
Wendy Naugle, USA TODAYJanuary 19, 2026 at 2:10 AM
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On the Monday, January 19, 2026, episode of The Excerpt podcast: What started as a viral joke has grown into a cultural reset. Melani Sanders, creator of the We Do Not Care Club, joins The Excerpt to talk about why women in perimenopause and menopause are rejecting long-held expectations, embracing vulnerability and redefining what actually deserves their time, energy, and attention.
Hit play on the player below to hear the podcast and follow along with the transcript beneath it. This transcript was automatically generated, and then edited for clarity in its current form. There may be some differences between the audio and the text.
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Wendy Naugle:
What you're about to hear might sound like a joke at first, but for millions of women, it landed more like a truth bomb.
Melani Sanders:
Hello and welcome to all new and existing members of the We Do Not Care Club. I started this club for all women in perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause.
Wendy Naugle:
That's Melani Sanders, the creator of the We Do Not Care Club. Hello and welcome to USA TODAY's The Excerpt. I'm Wendy Naugle, USA TODAY Executive Editor of Entertainment. What started as a meme has exploded into a cultural moment. We Do Not Care has become a rallying cry for visibility, for setting boundaries, and for rejecting expectations women, specifically perimenopausal and menopausal women, are told to quietly carry. Melani's new book, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook, is in bookstores now. Melani, we're excited to have you here today on The Excerpt.
Melani Sanders:
And thank you so much for having me.
Wendy Naugle:
I wanted to start off, you're the mother of three boys. Most of them are grown, so they know what's happening on social media right now. How are they reacting to this phenomenon that you created and seeing their mom out there in this way?
Melani Sanders:
I think they are probably just as shocked as I am, but also the attention can be away from them and more so me focused on the book and the movement, so they're benefiting greatly.
Wendy Naugle:
And your videos have become so much more than social media posts. They really are this rallying cry across zip codes, across demographics. How do you see the We Do Not Care Club impacting conversations beyond social media when you're talking to so many women?
Melani Sanders:
Within the WDNC, the We Do Not Care Club, this has become a sisterhood in just being able to support each other and being able to have the conversation of what perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause looks like, the familiarity of just everyone rallying together and just say, "We do not care much anymore."
Wendy Naugle:
And when you've talked to women across the country, what stories have impacted you the most? I mean, you've gotten this incredible outpouring of feedback. How has that changed you in your life?
Melani Sanders:
Me being able to, from one simple post where I was just fed up with Melani, to now look at this as a movement, it has really, really made me understand my value and my worth also to just know that in that moment I was enough.
Wendy Naugle:
I was watching The Golden Globes and there was a moment that really made me think of you. Chloe Zhao was accepting her award for Hamnet and she referenced a conversation she had had with her star, Paul Mescal. And there was something that he told her that really resonated with me, and I'm going to quote this, "Learning to be vulnerable enough to allow ourselves to be seen for who we are, for who we ought to be, and to give ourselves fully to the world, even the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of, that we are afraid of, or that are imperfect so that the people that we speak to can fully accept themselves for who they are." Does that resonate with you?
Melani Sanders:
Yes, for sure. When we can just release and it takes the pressure off once, especially in perimenopause and beyond, we are at capacity, and I say that often, we're at capacity. And so many of the pressures and stuff from the everyday life, it's like, "I can't worry about that anymore. I can't." And be okay with it. Being vulnerable, just letting go. Who cares? I was trying to decide what I was going to wear today. Oh my goodness, I'm going to be on TV. I have to wear this or do this or do that. And it's like, Melani, girl, go put on a shirt and some pants and be okay, because we do not care much anymore.
Wendy Naugle:
And you're talking about connecting on a more authentic level as well. I mean, we are in a very tumultuous time right now. There's so much going on in the news. How do you describe what people should care about and what they should go ahead and say, "We do not care about." How do you draw that distinction?
Melani Sanders:
I think many times we focus on what looks good more so than what feels good. And I think we need to really dial it back some and say, "What feels good to me?" Like you might have some stilettos that look really good, but these tennis shoes sure are comfortable and they feel good. And that's on every level of your life. Sometimes it could be with people that are in your life. It looks good to hang out with her or to do such and such, but then you might just want a down home sister who don't want to wear a bra just like you, and that feels good.
Wendy Naugle:
Well, and speaking of the Globes and appearances, you now have a lot of celebrity fans and friends. Halle Berry's a fan and you've had this really interesting impact on women of all types. What are those conversations like when you imagine these women who are perfect and in front of the camera and have entire entourages making them look perfect and you're kind of the counterbalance to that?
Melani Sanders:
As I have these conversations with celebrities, they're just everyday women just like anyone else. And I'm not sure the wording I can say. We all have dry coochie, and that's okay.
Wendy Naugle:
Yes. It's something probably everyone who's in perimenopause or menopause can relate to. You're definitely pushing the boundary with some of these conversations. Has there ever been a time that you've hesitated to share something and pushed yourself to do it anyway?
Melani Sanders:
Yes. And actually sometimes on many of my videos where I am extremely vulnerable, where the tears are flowing, sometimes it's like, Melani, don't hit record again crying. Don't do that. But then it's like, you know what? No, this is my life. This is my real story. I'm going to press record. And so yeah, I will fight against it, but those are my most engaged videos.
Wendy Naugle:
And how do you see younger women responding to the We Do Not Care Club? They're not necessarily encountering some of these issues that you're talking about, but I do think they look to older women. So what have you heard from younger women?
Melani Sanders:
I think that number one, they should be thanking us, because now we are breaking down these walls and we're talking about it. So this next generation, you don't have to worry so much and you'll be in tune to what potentially go on with your body. Them paying attention to what we're now talking about is very important.
Wendy Naugle:
And when you look back, is there advice that you would give your younger self?
Melani Sanders:
Girl, get ready.
Wendy Naugle:
Your book, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook, it's part humor and it's part manifesto. What chapter was the hardest for you to write and why?
Melani Sanders:
The very beginning. I just didn't know I could pull it off enough for a full book, and the imposter syndrome, like who are you to write a book? But the more pages that were written, the more it was like, "Oh yeah, we're about to get down and dirty here." And I love, love, love every piece of this book.
Wendy Naugle:
So I think probably the lesson is just start.
Melani Sanders:
Just start. Just start. And within the We Do Not Care Club, the one message that I always want my sisters to know from around the world is to remember that you are enough just the way that you are, and be okay.
Wendy Naugle:
And of course, one thing that happens when people go viral or they become influencers, and you are now definitely influencing millions of women, a lot of brand deals and opportunities come up. You have actually been really careful about what you've been choosing to say yes to. Some of us would say, "Why? Why not take it all?" Why not say, "I don't care. I'm going to take the money and enjoy the fame." Tell me a little bit about that decision process for you.
Melani Sanders:
The one thing I can always just count on within myself is just being true to who I am, and you can't dangle a carrot in front of me. It has to feel good. And so when I work with brands, I'm definitely trying the product, making sure that it's something that I believe in. And also now I feel like I have a responsibility. So it's not all about the financial part of it or the views or anything like that. There's a bigger piece to this. And I want to be sure that in this sisterhood, when you see Melani, you see authenticity across the board.
Wendy Naugle:
It's about trust.
Melani Sanders:
It's about trust, for sure.
Wendy Naugle:
And of course, I couldn't let you go if we didn't do a little speed round. So we're calling this the Care or Not Care Speed Round. Okay. Christmas tree still being up mid-January.
Melani Sanders:
Care. I do care.
Wendy Naugle:
Dry January.
Melani Sanders:
I care, but I don't care.
Wendy Naugle:
Canceling plans when you just don't want to go.
Melani Sanders:
Don't care.
Wendy Naugle:
Let them.
Melani Sanders:
Care.
Wendy Naugle:
Muting people's stories.
Melani Sanders:
Don't care.
Wendy Naugle:
Postmates or DoorDash?
Melani Sanders:
DoorDash.
Wendy Naugle:
Retinol or snail mucin?
Melani Sanders:
I would love to try snail mucin, but retinol for now.
Wendy Naugle:
And is there any last message you have that you want to send people off with?
Melani Sanders:
As I said earlier, within the WDNC, us women, we just have to be okay with knowing that we are enough just the way that we are, and to also know for any of my sisters out there who might feel alone, you're not. You're not.
Wendy Naugle:
It's a great and powerful message. Thank you so much. Melani's new book, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is in bookstores now. Thanks for being on The Excerpt, Melani.
Melani Sanders:
Thank you for having me.
Wendy Naugle:
Thanks to our senior producer, Kaely Monahan, for her production assistance. Our executive producer is Laura Beatty. Let us know what you think of this episode by sending a note to [email protected]. Thanks for listening. I'm Wendy Naugle, USA TODAY Executive Editor of Entertainment. We'll be back with another episode of USA TODAY's The Excerpt.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: The joy — and power — of saying “We do not care” | The Excerpt
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